By Rebecca Harrison

I first heard the term autism mentioned, in relation to my son C, when he was 18 months old.  C was, at that time, been looked after by a local childminder and what I remember so vividly is that his childminder kept commenting, that C did not play. Later on, we put C in a nursery setting, in order for him to get more social interaction with other kids.  However, again the nursery kept telling me how behind C was and that he was not hitting his milestones and not verbally communicating.  I was very confused and upset, as the Paediatrician, we were under at the local hospital, would not commit, at that point to a diagnosis as he freely admitted that he did not know what was wrong with C.  I was very naive to what autism looked like.  I had never, at that point, met anyone with autism.  The only knowledge, I had of autism was of characters on the TV, such has Sheldon Cooper or the The Rain Man. C was well behaved, he did not line things up or have obsessions. He could not possibly have, autism….or could he? C was about 2.5 years old at this point.  He could not talk and his understanding was not good either.  However, the worst behaviour he had was he could not sit still at all.  He never, ever stopped moving.  I could not sit down and do tasks with him, because he could  not sit still and concentrate.  He constantly threw objects, in frustration of not being understood and when he was outside, he would run off.  I was in despair.  Today, 2.5 years on, I looked back on this time as one of the lowest times in my life.  I love my son dearly and I felt helpless as I could not help him.  I did not understand why he exhibited such different behaviours to other children.  I felt I was doing something wrong.  Today, life is better and supporting C is a work in progress.  In January 2020 (this year), I got C, his diagnosis of autism, he has a EHCP for school and we are taking one day at a time.  Today, C can speak in two and a few three-word sentences.  He can dress and wash himself independently, clean his teeth, brush his hair, put himself to bed and not run off when we go out.  His understanding is excellent and he loves his little brother very much. 

I don’t want anyone to feel they are alone in their ASD journey.  I remember how scared and confused I felt, when the child minder and the nursery said C was different, when I realised that C was not the same as other children.  I felt uncertain, I needed someone, anyone just to be there.  This is one of the many reasons I have created this blog.  We are in this together for the good times and the bad.