The Communication Black Hole: Ghosted by the Local Authority
Imagine this: you’ve gone through the rigorous, emotionally draining process of gathering every shred of paperwork, assessments, and reports required for your child’s EHCP review. You send it all off, expecting some form of response. Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months.
Silence.
You email, call, send polite follow-ups, even try to contact them through official channels and social media—only to be met with the same empty response, if any response comes at all. This “ghosting” has become an exasperating reality for so many SEND parent carers. In theory, the EHCP team is there to ensure our children get the educational support they deserve. In practice, they seem impossible to reach, leaving us in a void of unanswered questions and unresolved issues.
For many parents like me, it feels as though we’re begging for scraps of information, pleading just to know where we stand. We deserve better—and so do our children.
The Confusion of Conflicting Information
And then there’s the misinformation. After months of waiting, I sometimes finally hear back from someone on the EHCP team, only to be told things that completely contradict previous advice. One official might assure me that my child’s support is secure; another will say it’s under review. I’ve been given conflicting details on what funding might look like, what support hours my child is entitled to, and even where they’ll be educated.
At times, I’ve felt like I’m piecing together a puzzle where the pieces just don’t fit. When I try to clarify or question these inconsistencies, I often hit another wall of silence or another maze of confusing, bureaucratic explanations.
Safety Valve Agreements: The Impact on Out-of-Borough Education
Our local council is operating under a “Safety Valve Agreement” with the government, and it’s left me wondering: what does this mean for my child’s education?
For those unfamiliar with it, the Safety Valve Agreement is essentially a financial recovery plan for councils to reduce their spending on high-needs education. This includes funding for EHCPs, and it’s supposed to bring budgets under control. But here’s the reality for us as SEND families: the financial focus of the agreement often means that children are being directed away from specialized settings out of borough, which can be the best option for their needs, and into less costly in-borough alternatives.In practical terms, this “safety valve” is making many of our children feel like pound signs instead of people. They’re no longer simply kids who deserve the best educational opportunities but are seen as expenses, and our councils seem to be valuing budget cuts over their well-being.
As a result, many SEND families, including mine, find ourselves in a heart-wrenching situation.
My child, like many others, could thrive in an out-of-borough placement that specializes in their needs, yet the council insists on in-borough options due to this financial recovery agreement. It’s hard not to feel like the system is designed to sideline our kids in favor of meeting budget targets.
The Emotional Toll of “Being Kept in the Dark”
Every parent carer knows the impact of prolonged stress, but when you’re fighting against a faceless system that refuses to communicate or clarify, it’s emotionally exhausting on an entirely different level. The constant uncertainty, the long waits, the endless follow-ups—all of this adds to the mental and emotional load we already carry as SEND parents.
I find myself worrying daily about my child’s educational future, wondering if there’s a council official somewhere ticking a box without considering the actual child that box represents. The lack of transparency makes it feel like our children’s education is more about balancing the council’s books than meeting their needs. And as we wait in this void of information, the toll on our mental health and resilience as parent carers cannot be overstated.
So, What Needs to Change?
The most important thing we need is open, consistent, and compassionate communication. The HCP process shouldn’t feel like an endless struggle where parent carers are left feeling abandoned. SEND families should be treated as partners in this journey, not as adversaries fighting for basic rights.
Here are a few specific changes that could help ease the situation:
Clear Communication Channels:
The EHCP teams should set up regular communication channels where updates are shared proactively—not only when we initiate them.
Accountability in Safety Valve Agreements:
Councils should prioritise the well-being of SEND children over strict budget cuts. We need to know that our children’s needs are being considered and prioritised in these financial recovery plans.
Consistent and Accurate Information:
There should be a single point of contact who is well-informed, approachable, and able to provide accurate information to prevent the contradictory advice many of us face.
Our Children Deserve More:
As a parent carer waiting for communication from the EHCP team, I sometimes feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. But I hold on because I know that my child—and every SEND child—deserves to be seen, heard, and valued beyond the financial constraints of the council. T o every SEND parent carer out there waiting for answers, remember: you are not alone. And while we continue to push, advocate, and demand better, let’s remind our local authorities that our children are more than just numbers in a budget—they are young people with dreams, potential, and a right to an education that meets their needs. If enough of us speak out, maybe—just maybe—they’ll start listening.
